Lisa's Lines

For the love OF the alphabet

I was helping my kindergartener, Ellen, review her sight words.

It’s nothing new. She comes home with a beginner reading book and a little red envelope full of sight-word flashcards almost every night. She’s pretty darn good at sounding out words, so it usually doesn’t take us too long to complete her homework.

However, on this particular night, she was working on the words: he, the, his, said, was, and of.

Like usual, she flipped through the word flashcards, reading the words aloud to me as she went.

“He."

“Was.”

“Said.

“His.”

“Off.”

"Wait," I said, holding up my hand so she wouldn't flip any more cards. "What did you say, Ellen? Go back one."

She flipped back to the word “of.”

“What’s that word?” I asked her, thinking I must have misunderstood her.

“Off.”

“No, honey, it’s not ‘off.’ It's ‘of,’ like the Princess OF Arnedelle,” I explained, thinking she’d simply review the two-letter word, log it in her memory bank, and we’d move on… But, she was stuck.

And, she was mad—mad at the world.

She sat there glaring at me with her mouth hung open and the tiny “of” flashcard still in her hands. 

“Mom! I’ve been learning the alphabet my whole life. And NOW, you’re telling me IT DOESN’T WORK?” she spouted in utter disgust, throwing down the flashcard.

I tried to process what was happening. What was she trying to tell me? What was going on? But, I was baffled.  

“What?” I managed to utter.

She tipped her chin down, raised her eyes, and glared at me, stating, “You said that word is ‘of.’”

“Well, that’s because it IS the word ‘of.’ O-F spells ‘of,’” I explained. This put her over the edge. Her arms and eyebrows went up in defiance and her strawberry-blonde pigtails shook in disagreement.

“Mom! It’s CAN’T be ‘of’ – THERE IS NO ‘V’ IN IT!” she exploded, adding a major eye roll just to let me know just how out of touch I was with reality.

I sat there and smiled at my little smarty pants. She was right. “Of” does sound like it should have a “v” in it, and learning the alphabet and all the letter sounds has been one of the most important academic achievements in her five years of life, and now, those basic educational building blocks were WRONG.

“Sweetie, you are right," I gently explained. "It does sound like there should be a ‘v’ in it, but there isn’t. The English language is funny sometimes and there are just some words you need to memorize and know that they don’t follow the rules." 

With a big, long, dramatic sigh, she leaned over and put her forehead on the tabletop.

“WHY did I learn the alphabet?” she mumbled, shaking her head in disbelief. 

The alphabet had failed her.

“Ellen, you still need to know the alphabet. It's important. It’s just that SOME words are tricky and don’t follow the rules,” I stated, trying my best to be sympathetic (while suppressing my laughter).

Slowly, she turned her face towards mine, still not lifting her head off the counter and grumbled: “Whoever made up these words must not have been to kindergarten. 'Of’ needs a ‘v.’”

I nodded and put her flashcards away. 

It was enough disappointment for one day.