Lisa's Lines
Wow! It's a busy time of year with graduations, Memorial Day events, parties, bridal showers, etc. And now that I'm sitting down to write this column... nothing ink-worthy comes to mind.
Maybe I should write about how my 5-year-old daughter Ellen scratched a scratch while playing in a neighbor’s backyard, and how, after seeing Ellen’s injury, one of her playmates commented, “Those bushes suck,” which made Ellen cry and had her running home in a panic… because, of course, they had to be vampire bushes if they were trying to “suck” her blood.
Or maybe I should write about my daughter’s First Holy Communion and how she refused to wear my perfectly preserved old First Communion dress and my mom’s old First Communion dress, but ultimately chose her aunt’s dress (which is IDENTICAL to mine). Seven-year-old Anna did look lovely—just like she stepped right out of the 80s, complete with frilly, puffy sleeves.
Maybe I should write about being married to an engineer and how during dinner one night John was talking about the vacuum of space and then asked the girls what would happen if a bowling ball and a feather were dropped simultaneously in the vacuum. Of course, Ellen spouted the obvious answer: “They would get sucked up!”
Or maybe I should write about playing Barbies and mermaids with my girls and having to quit when the pretend play included having the Barbies catch and “fry up” the mermaids for a big wedding feast. I just couldn’t do it. You don’t eat mermaids—not even for pretend. It's wrong.
Maybe I should write about my girls’ new business: Worm Girls. After spending hours digging and sorting worms, they sit at a little table and sell “lucky worms” to fishermen. Business has been good, and they’ve even identified their target market: The “grandpa-looking guys” who have big, fancy boats (and always seem to carry a dollar or two in their pocket).
But, if I write about the Worm Girls’ sales, I should probably also include the neighborhood lemonade craze, which started out as one girl selling lemonade at the end of our driveway and quickly turned into eight neighbor girls going door to door selling lemonade from the back of a golf cart. The crew then happened upon a college kid party and invited everyone back to my driveway for refreshments, which was a rather surprising site when I looked up from my gardening. Impressively, they raked in $30 at 25¢ a cup.
Or maybe I should write about the first bullhead I’ve caught in more than 20 years! It was a big, beautiful yellow bullhead and my girls were fascinated by the fact that not all fish have scales. Yes, they’ve eaten bullhead, but up until that lucky catch, they had never touched a living “mustache” fish.
But, bullheads probably aren’t that exciting for people in this region of Minnesota, so instead, maybe I should write about all the snakes we have in our yard and how much my kids enjoy watching them. They so badly want to pick them up, but have not yet been successful… which is totally hilarious to watch.
Maybe I should write about Mother’s Day and how I was “treated” to a one-hour hair wash and style by my 5-year-old "super stylist," who teared up when I started undoing my new do before church. Guess who looked extra fabulous that Sunday morning.
Or maybe I should write about my bookworm daughter who has just started reading my childhood favorites—“Boxcar Children” and “Babysitter Club” books!
Or I could write about my cat who loves to go for boat rides. (We’re convinced that she doesn’t know she’s a cat.)
Of course I could write about Ellen's preschool graduation, which was cute, exciting, and emotional. I know my feisty little redhead is ready for kindergarten, but it's hard to believe that my baby is that old!
Or maybe... Wait. I've run out of room, so I'll wrap this up by saying congratulations, good luck and hugs to all you parents who will be sending your kids out of your home for the first time. I have 10 more years before my first child graduates. Only. Ten. More. Years. It's going by too fast.
